


Please Don't Go

by themuziqlover



Category: B.A.P
Genre: Gen, One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-09
Updated: 2013-06-09
Packaged: 2017-12-14 10:44:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,668
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/836041
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/themuziqlover/pseuds/themuziqlover
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>The ONE SHOT MV gave me feels okay. OKAY. Please don't judge me. Also, the Angel!AU Kaisoo is getting there, I promise! Please don't kill me if you've been following that (yeah right.) Anyway, yes, enjoy. Hehe.</p>
    </blockquote>





	Please Don't Go

**Author's Note:**

> The ONE SHOT MV gave me feels okay. OKAY. Please don't judge me. Also, the Angel!AU Kaisoo is getting there, I promise! Please don't kill me if you've been following that (yeah right.) Anyway, yes, enjoy. Hehe.

 

 

When Youngjae first joins B.A.P as their newest recruit, he expects to hate them like he’s hated criminals all his life. As one of Seoul’s best policemen, it’s only natural that he nurses a passionate aversion to any and all illicit activities. So when his boss tells him they need him to go undercover for a con to finally arrest one of the most notorious gangs in the city, he grudgingly agrees, and prepares for what he thinks will turn out to be one of the worst periods of his life.

 

When Youngjae first joins B.A.P as their newest recruit, he _doesn’t_ expect the uncharacteristically warm welcome they give him. He meets them all at once, a bunch of dysfunctional youths when, put together, somehow make a family. He gets to know Daehyun first when he gets picked up in one of the city’s many alleyways. Daehyun seems silent and and introverted at first, but the longer the car ride goes on, and the more he loosens up to the Youngjae, the more he realizes how talkative and excitable Daehyun really is.

 

They stop by a warehouse a few streets away from B.A.P’s headquarters to pick up Himchan, who’s apparently _“working on a surprise for Zelo’s next birthday”_. The first thing Youngjae notices about him is how good looking he really is, disturbingly so for someone who’s apparently been involved in one too many gang wars. Himchan is friendly right away and Youngjae is shocked for a moment at how trusting he is to someone he’s essentially just met. The rest of the ride is filled with laughter and noise, Daehyun’s lame jokes and Himchan’s corny pick-up lines.

 

At the abandoned building B.A.P calls home, Youngjae gets introduced to the two “babies”, as Himchan affectionately calls them. Jongup and Zelo are busy sitting on a patched up couch in the middle of the room and intently watching a video on a contrastingly new, high tech laptop. The trio gather around them to see what they’re looking at and Youngjae gets another shock when, instead of any crime-related material, the pair have several tabs open to Youtube dance videos and Chris Brown performances. They rope Youngjae into sitting with them to gush over how great and amazing Chris Brown’s dancing is so Himchan and Daehyun leave him to _“bond with the children before appa gets home”_ in peace.

 

The last member he meets is Yongguk, their leader, their _appa_ , the most wanted person in Seoul. Youngjae watches the door anxiously as he listens, from his perch on the couch, to the voices just on the other side. He recognizes Himchan’s voice saying the new guy’s arrived, no, no problems at all. Then a much deeper, unfamiliar one, before the door swings open and he gets his first real-life look at _the_ Bang Yongguk. And his jaw nearly drops. Yongguk, infamous for half the bank robberies, and practically all the drug deals in Seoul, stands at the doorway with this huge gummy smile, several ear piercings, and two plastic bags of takeout for dinner because _“the kids love Chinese for some strange reason_ ”.

 

Youngjae can only watch as Jongup and Zelo latch excitedly onto Yongguk in a semblance of a group hug and attempt to wrestle the food out of his hands.

 

He’d expected a gang, a crew, _anything_. But definitely not this. Definitely not something that looks _so_ much like a family. So much like his _own_ family.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Youngjae’s first glimpse of anything crime related comes a week later. One second, Jongup and Zelo are practicing their dancing in front of a grimy wall mirror, and the second, Yongguk and Himchan are bursting in through the door, tossing guns at all of them - even Daehyun, who’s asleep on the couch (it hits him on the stomach but he hardly flinches) - and suddenly, everyone is crammed into a black, tinted SUV and speeding away towards the night.

 

Youngjae learns there’s a relatively new gang invading B.A.P’s turf nearby, and obviously, they’ve got to go defend their property. Daehyun explains things to him in rapid fire Korean but Youngjae manages to get the gist of it. _“It isn’t a major thing - just regular B.A.P cleanup, nothing major, don’t worry”_ , he says, as Himchan pulls up at a warehouse close to the one where he’d been working on Zelo’s surprise a week ago.

 

Their entrance into the warehouse is all business. No trace of the fun, carefree people Youngjae had gotten to know in the past week. They find NU’EST in the middle of digging through some crates in the middle of the warehouse and barely a second passes before a blond boy (or girl? Youngjae isn’t really sure at this point) fires at them and a full on shootout begins. It doesn’t last long though. Yongguk makes straight for their leader, Himchan and Jongup shoot anyone who tries to escape, Daehyun’s double-handed shooting never misses, and Zelo immediately goes off to take care of anyone else who could be hiding around in the warehouse (he returns with three dead bodies later). Youngjae, himself, only shoots a couple of people but as soon as they get back home, he’s doted on by everyone ( _Himchan_ ), congratulated for doing pretty well on his first real night out with them and checked for any injuries.

 

It hits Youngjae later in the night, after every minor bruise and cut has been properly tended to, that he’s just thought of B.A.P’s headquarters as _home_.

 

And it had felt completely natural to him.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Another week later and Youngjae sends his first police report back to his boss. The week had been a lot more hectic than the last - drug trades, meetups, more gang fights, raids, robberies. The night of their latest heist, an affluent bank in the middle of downtown Seoul, Youngjae sits in front of his laptop, staring at the glowing white screen open to a blank Word template of his expected report. All around him, only the sounds of steady breathing remind him of the people sleeping peacefully just a few feet away. He chances a glance at Jongup on his bed a few feet away, huddled around a huge Pororo plushie, then back at his laptop screen. A deep breath.

 

And Youngjae pours everything out onto the white pages, fighting not to think about Yongguk’s gummy smile, Himchan’s grease, Daehyun’s amusing commentaries, Jongup’s dancing, Zelo’s (no, _Junhong’s_ ) robot imitations.

 

Sunlight is only just beginning to seep through the narrow windows near the ceiling, turning black into gray into faded blue, when Youngjae finishes the document and attaches it onto a secure email line.

 

He looks around one last time.

 

And clicks send.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Two days later, on a grocery trip out with Himchan, he feels something slipped surreptitiously into his pocket while waiting in line at the cashier. He checks it in the safety of his own company later on and finds a small listening device and three words: _For the leader_.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

It’s Zelo’s birthday today and, for once, everyone is dressed nicely in something that doesn’t resemble gang attire. Daehyun’s baked some cake, _real_ cake (Youngjae can’t remember the last time anyone’s done that instead of just buying one), and Yongguk’s bought a few decorations. Meanwhile, Himchan’s gone to get Zelo’s surprise, and Jongup’s busy delaying Zelo before he gets home.

 

In the middle of all the excited commotion, Youngjae slips away and into their storage room where he knows everyone keeps their things. The shelves and cubby holes are familiar, labeled with each member’s name and neatly kept (by Himchan, of course). He smiles wryly before making his way to Yongguk’s bag and unzipping a small side pocket. He’s just slipped the device inside when a noise by the door startles him and he hurriedly zips the bag closed, turning just in time to see Yongguk appear in the doorway.

 

 

“Youngjae? What’re you doing in here? I thought you were helping Daehyun out with the cake.”

 

 

“Um, ah, I was just looking for my scissors, Dae was having a hard time opening some packets and... yeah.”

 

 

Youngjae smiles sheepishly, hand coming up to rub at his neck nervously as Yongguk steps further into the room. He thinks he sees suspicion in Yongguk’s eyes, caution only a leader would have, but -

 

 

“Well, alright, did you find it? I think Zelo’s nearly here and we need that cake.”

 

 

“Yup! I have everything I need. Thanks, _hyung_!”

 

 

Youngjae doesn’t look back as he hurries out of the room.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

_“February 11th. 1300 hours. At the train station two streets down.”_

 

 

Youngjae hangs up his cellphone nervously. This was it. The plan was set. In a few days, he would leave this place and return to the familiarity of his former life. A few more days, and he would probably never see B.A.P again. Youngjae shivers in sudden apprehension and the anxiety that runs through his body

 

He barely sleeps that night as he prepares for the following day.

 

The beginning of the end of his time with B.A.P.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

It goes smoothly. A little _too_ smoothly, Youngjae thinks.

 

Thanks to his report, the police are fully aware of B.A.P’s planned drug deal at the train station. The one Youngjae had volunteered for as his first (somewhat) independent job for the group.

 

Yongguk’s swinging his backpack carelessly beside him as they cross the road (it’s filled with ammunition) as they cross the street, relaxed at the simple job today, and on Youngjae’s own shoulders, a plain black bag rests. To anyone who saw them, they would have looked as normal as any other civilian on the street that day. When Youngjae enters the bustling building, dressed in casual clothes to blend in with the numerous commuters, he schools his face into as calm an expression as he can. In reality, though, his insides feel like they’re about to explode with how jittery he knows he would be if he hadn’t had years of police training behind him.

 

They descend the escalators to a quieter area of the station. Yongguk positions himself at a strategic distance to watch Youngjae. A train arrives on Platform 6. In a corner near the end of the platform, next to a fire exit door, a group of men huddle close around a lone, green trash can.

 

Youngjae swallows as he heads straight towards them.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

It’s simple. So, _so_ simple. And yet, it’s the hardest thing Youngjae has ever had to do in his life.

 

Youngjae pretends to hand the “leader” of the group the bag, the men present a small black case filled with hundred-dollar bills. Youngjae positions himself strategically at the corner of their little group, enough for Yongguk to see, but not enough for him to have a clean line of fire. And while he pretends to finalize the last few loose ends of the deal, the men fake a blow to his head and carry him out through the fire exit.

 

He can hear Yongguk’s outraged cry even from the other side of the exit door, helpless to shoot without clear sight and unable to call for help given _who_ they are, and Youngjae has to fight not to turn his head instinctively towards the sound.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

There’s nothing left to do now but wait.

 

Wait for B.A.P to come, wait for Youngjae to openly betray them, wait for the end. Youngjae sits back against the wall of the subway platform, the false blood and artificial bruises hurting more than any real wounds could. One of the disguised officers mutter to him that they’re coming and he gives him a curt nod.

 

Yongguk still didn’t know about the listening device in his bag. _Stupid idiot_ , Youngjae thinks. If he’d just found it earlier, none of their plans would have been broadcasted into the ears of waiting men. It’s futile though, trying to pin the blame on Yongguk’s carelessness rather than his own deception. _What are they doing now?_ Sounds had stopped coming from the mic little over an hour ago, Yongguk must have left his bag at HQ. Youngjae sighs, shutting his eyes and leaning his head back against the cold, tiled wall.

 

Zelo would probably huddle up with Jongup in the backseat, talking in hushed voices and hoping he’s still okay. Daehyun would probably be his silent self again, the lack of snarky commentary leaving the car in a tense silence. Himchan would grip the steering wheel, eyes fixed on the road. He wouldn’t talk, lips pressed into a thin line and eyes murderous at the thought of one of his _“children”_ coming to harm. And Yongguk (Youngjae can almost see his face behind his eyelids) - Yongguk would probably be grim, serious, a mask of calm pulled carefully over his face. He would clasp a hand around the cross he always leaves hanging around his neck. He’d probably give Himchan a reassuring nod too, say he’s okay even though the dark shadows under his eyes clearly say he hasn’t slept properly in days.

 

_Stupid idiot._

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Youngjae is tense when B.A.P arrives. He keeps his head down, eyes trained on the ground, playing the role of the hostage perfectly (even though all he wants is to see their faces one more time). He hears Yongguk’s grunt as he drops the case with the money, watches feet shuffle forward as one of the men check the bills. There’s a brief silence before he feels a hand on his shoulder, guiding him to the front of the group, pushing him forward.

 

Youngjae lifts his eyes.

 

He smiles.

 

They’re all here. Jongup, Zelo, Daehyun, Himchan, and Yongguk there in the middle, shoulders already beginning to relax as Youngjae stumbles towards them. Then a comforting arm is wrapping around his shoulders and he’s suddenly in a one-armed hug, face pressed into Yongguk’s shoulder. He breathes easier, the familiar smell he’s come to associate with home comforting him.

 

And he lets himself pretend for just a moment longer, as he chances last looks over Yongguk at the rest of B.A.P.

 

 

_I’m sorry._

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The first footsteps are deafening to his ears, a cacophony of unwelcome sound jarring Youngjae from the momentary peace he’s found in that subway station.

 

He takes a breath, one last taste of the closest thing to home he's ever known.

 

And a little too soon, he’s pushing Yongguk away, watching as the SWAT team descends on them, restraining them. A little too soon, he watches their faces morph into varying expressions of confusion - _Yongguk’s_ expression change from confused, to angry, to betrayed, as his eyes settle on Youngjae.

 

Youngjae looks away. An officer salutes him from behind, handing him the familiar silver badge. He can hear the rest of the members slowly catching on. Himchan’s gasp, Daehyun’s cry, Jongup and Zelo mumbling to each other, trying to make sense of what’s going on. But it’s Yongguk’s silence that scares him the most.

 

He turns, holding the silver up to their faces.

 

 

One final salute.

 

 

Pretend to be okay, smirk, turn, walk away.

 

 

One final goodbye.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

He hears the scuffle behind him, Yongguk’s outraged cry, and it’s strangely reminiscent of the day at the train station when he’d betrayed all of them. The noise disorients him. Yelling, screaming, sirens everywhere. And among them, a voice that rises above it all.

 

 

 

“YAH! Yoo Youngjae! You - Please - How could you - ”

 

 

 

He has to fight not to look back.

 

 

 

“We trusted you! _I_ trusted you!”

 

 

 

One last time.

 

 

 

“Youngjae!”

 

 

 

 

 

_I can’t move in the darkness_  
 I can’t feel anything, Tears fall down  
 I’m trapped in memories of you, no  
 Please hold onto my hand, so that I can wake up   
Please don’t go 

_Why did you throw me away like garbage_  
Just why can’t I do anything   
Just why, why why do I throw all  
of the memories I had with you everyday 


End file.
